I am up actually now at 1:47 AM and I am thinking about life as rain hits my air conditioner from one window, and the other I hear the wind just blowing away. This is my first blog and this blog is random thought about family, dance, & overall life of a human being! I just watched my teachers diary on YouTube Tai Jimenez and it was so inspiring for me to work harder.She caught me with something as saying “We can’t avoid the pain of life or the pain of a dancer” & it struck my mind to brig tears to my eyes. I almost thought of a globe where you can actually see which way these weird people think the world and locations of places may specifically be but, does it mean it cannot be a different way shape or form? Maybe that’s the conclusion it came to be so we accpeted it as people, as human beings. Out of Tai’s words I got so effected emotinally to think all I’m thinking right now.To believe life is only what you make it to be. I am a hard worker and I want it badly. I mean I want dance badly she is my deepest fear before dying or meeting God at them heavenly gates. I wake up every morning at 5 AM since Septemer and stretched my ass to the bone for an hour before getting ready at 6 for school. The wind is blowing hard as it blows though I keep thinking about this scenario where life was passing me by & I have to catch it beore it leaves! I am reaching so hard for what I need not wan but, what I need in my life. A single widowed mother who struggles her ass off to get me whatever I need. I am not selfish I love what she does for me.She taught me how to be very chivalrous to anyone not just a woman.Yeah sometimes I may swear and curse before realizing I don’t need to. I don’t want her to ever here someone say I am disrespectful. She works too hard for me. That’s another thought as the wind blows and as it blows and the rain falls off my roof onto my air conditioner I realize I have to get up in now 3 hours. I have ballet in the AM. I start class early at 8 AM. I usually am the first one at the door as everyone else would he downstairs in the AM chatting it up and strolling upstairs at 7:50 to just get make it to class. I am determined and willing to take the risk I have to take as an artist. I once had a teacher that I studied with in Conneticuit at Earl Mosley’s Institute of the Arts named Freddie Dejesus and he said at an audition the students had to be in his piece “I am an artist I am not looking for dancers I only want o work with artists!” strictly like that. As my turn came up to show his choreogrpahy as something I never explored before which was dancing like an artist and not a dancer was hard. I did it overcame the fear that comes to my mind all the time before death, and suprisingly booked the job! As I think of where I been in my life it’s a vintage blur sometime. I can only cry my eyes out to remember that I have no father figure. He couldn’t help that someone was angry and they wanted revenge because they hurted inside and killed him.Gunshots in the head several times I am blurring in all these different sections of my life, all these incounters I have faced and yet to face. I am only being what we call Homo Sapiens well human beings you know the ones who are bipedal after ancestors Neanderthals. Yeah a lot of human beings take life and live with what we get, and some take life and let the dilemmas over rule them, and some take life and take any no’s for an answer and work to make life suit them. I am the last option of how human beings may take the life given to them. I am now tired of writing and soon have to get up. I am determined to be what I was born not too be…a dancer!

“Take risks and take any no’s from another being because we all may have flaws but, those flaws will overcome to ultimate beauty”-KhamariB.

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